Sunday, March 22, 2009

soooooo...


...apparently I'm gheyyyy!!!

That's seems to be the general consensus of these two girls in my office because:
  • I have impeccable hygiene
  • I'm addicted to brushing and flossing
  • I constantly make sure my nails are clean
  • I like collecting sneakers
  • I don't like insects
  • If I saw a guy smack a chick I wouldn't intervene
  • I wear what they call "skinny jeans"
  • I get my haircut twice a week
  • I groom my dick hair
  • I shave my chest
  • I have a best friend who's gay
  • I'm an advocate of equal rights for the gay community
  • I comment on what bitches wear when I see pics of them
  • I like Beyonce
  • I wouldn't care if my child was gay
  • I love shopping
  • I'm trying to sculpt my body and improve my health
  • I have a great relationship with my mom
  • I'm addicted to Burts Bee's Wax
  • I get a pedicure once a month


ummm ok? My rebuttal:

-I have impeccable hygiene
When was it taboo to want to NOT be dirty? um ok?

-I'm addicted to brushing and flossing
I'm sorry I don't want my teeth looking like this!

-I constantly make sure my nails are clean
Do you know how much bacteria is underneath your nails?

-I like collecting sneakers
Dumb ass I stack gwop from kicks... plus I like "stylin' on em"

-I don't like insects
FUCK BUGS, I'm not Bear Grylls.

-If I saw a guy smack a chick I wouldn't intervene
I don't condone gorilla pimpin' bitches but one smack ain't enough for me to go Rocky Balboa! But if he went Iceberg Slim on her then I'd jump in.

-I wear what they call "skinny jeans"
My shits is far from skinny jeans! They're called "slim cut" dumb ass.

-I groom my dick hair
I don't need a girl searching through the forest and stopping to pull pubes outta her mouth constantly while giving me head.

-I shave my chest
This ain't the 70's and I ain't Burt Reynolds.

-I'm an advocate of equal rights for the gay community
I don't think ANYONE should be discriminated against! Black, Latino, Jew, gay, etc...

-I comment on what bitches wear when I see pics of them
I like the TOTAL package. Just because a girl looks good don't make her a dime. If she can't dress for shit then I'm not interested because she has no flavor. Flavor is imporant...

-I like Beyonce
She can dance, sing, act (not really) and she's fine! FTW
side note: Beyonce > Kelis

-I wouldn't care if my child was gay
Love is blind.. plus statistically speaking gay folks are generally cleaner, shy away from crime, more successful career-wise and smarter.

-I love shopping
I like looking fresh. Who wants to be a bum ass nigga?

-I'm trying to sculpt my body and improve my health
When you look good you feel good plus I got high chlorestoral, high blood pressure, diabetes, etc.. in my family. I don't want to go down any of those routes!

-I have a great relationship with my mom
That's my best friend on earth. I'm not apologizing for that or justifying that relationship!

-I'm addicted to Burts Bee's Wax
When did cracked, ashy ass, chapped lips EVER been acceptable?

-I get a pedicure once a month
I play a shit load of ball. I got broken toenails and all types of fuckery! No girl wants some fucking eagle talon/bear claws bumping up against her leg in the bed! Talk about a MOOD KILLER!


I think the number one thing that would make me not gay is the fact that I DON'T LIKE THE COCK!

2 comments:

Thomas said...

lol and ive PREACHED ALL of those points my whole life...glad to c sumone is on the same page. ill blog man. keep it up.

micAh! said...

thx homie

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